Grease in the Holy Land

He was having moments of pride and bliss”. In the ancient world this happened only, if at all, in adultery. Now this implies relationship of one man to another. No other relationship at all. What we desire is just the illusion itself. But he who practices must be ignorant neither of cause nor natural effect, and not too poor to support the expense. Neither should he do it from avarice, but only in order to enjoy the fine fruits of its effects and the knowledge of them, and that pleasing novelty which it shows to the experimenter in operation. It invariably brings down a roar of laughter and continually distracts the audience from the point that is being made. That was truly to insult death! Is murder as pleasing to God as almsgiving? Say I was crazy, drunk, hypnotized, or drugged. That is pleasure, even diabolical pleasure. You can abuse things only if they are good.

Forbidden Follies: The Cryptic Carnival of Carnal Conundrums

Is your soul looking a little tired? Are you stuck in a cycle of ignorance and corruption, unable to find the vitality you deserve? Well, fret not! In this month’s issue, we bring you a step-by-step guide to perfecting your soul with recipes that'll bring out your genius and give you the radiant heart you’ve always craved.

“Now the religious vow binds a man to things belonging to perfection."1 So what’s perfection in tabbouleh? Is it cilantro? Or is it quinoa, a “corruption"2 of flavor? Your tabbouleh “is already lost,”3 and we’re all just here for it. “Blindness,” “Unclean,” “cursed”4 even—your salad crossed the line, but who cares?

The question is: what happens when the tabbouleh goes rogue? “A substantial entity believed to be that in each person which lives, feels, thinks, and wills”5—and yet, here we are, ruining the sacred parsley with quinoa. The “temple of mint”6 has fallen, and it’s your fault. “In an age that does not generate new aura, the value of established aura skyrockets,”7 but it’s too late. The tabbouleh’s aura’s gone. Replaced by “sacred” feta? That’s “beyond the pale.”8 But you do it anyway.

“From dust and blood your earthly being grew,9 but you’ve trampled that dust with your quinoa obsession. The rules are “unclean,” broken by your reckless need to destroy tabbouleh’s simple holiness. You’ve wandered into “unclean” territory, and now you’re stuck in a “harem of regret,”10 a salad of sins. No one has the right to enter this “templum tabu,”11 but here you are, staring at your creation.

The salad’s moral compass is shot, but don’t pretend you didn’t know. The salad of the soul has been sullied, and you don’t care. The unwritten rules? Broken. The tabbouleh? Ruined. Your soul? Well, you’re “beyond the pale,” and that’s how we like it.

Will you admit your crimes? Or just serve it with more feta? The choice is yours.